The Worst Presentation Ideas. Ever.

Posted by Bridget Beirne
April 2, 2015

by Bridget Beirne

bridget-beirne-1So, you're giving a presentation. Good for you! Merely the responsibility alone should make you tingly with anticipation of the high-flying achievement to come. No need to fear and fret the inevitable; after all, these things just come together on their own. You can get to it, you know, when you get to it, with these presentation ideas:

  • Don't practice or rehearse anything beforehand. That rush of the unknown will keep everyone on the edge of their seats! Pretend you're leading them through an adventure, the outcome of which is a mystery even to you — how exciting!  And you're smart, right? Come on, how hard can it be to just get up there and talk?
  • Just read everything. You're just going to read a bunch of information word for word anyway, and you're really good at reading. Heck, you've got two reading apps on your phone. TWO! And you're considering getting a third, so yeah, you're pretty good at that whole "reading words" thing. Don't panic.

  • By all means, release yourself from worrying about time or schedule. Remember that time your Grandma told you she could listen to you talk for hours? That hasn't changed, has it? You're just as dynamic as ever. Look at it this way: if they've scheduled you for one hour, think how excited they'll be when they get two!

  • You know what people love? Being able to read everything you're saying on a slide behind you. Be presentation-ideas-worstsure you don't leave a word out. In fact, it should be just words. A sea of words. Who needs pictures? Pictures are for people who don't like words, and who doesn't like words? Words. Lots of words.
  • Make your audience feel comfortable by crossing your arms over your chest, leaning into one hip, and speaking into your shoulder. If you and your audience don't somehow resemble the Breakfast Club,  you're doing it wrong.

  • Save time by removing any personal stories, or personal information, or personal reflection, or personality from your presentation. In fact, throw out the whole "person" idea. Find a robot, if one is available. The last thing your audience wants is to be taken away from hard, fast statistics. Robots are really good at that. Come on, in every movie ever the robot is the smartest one in the room, so... that's a win. 

  • Most importantly, remember not to think about your audience too much. Hey, who cares what they need or what you need them to do. This isn't their presentation! In fact, spread the word that they don't need to show up. You'll just give your talk in a room by yourself. On second thought, you'll do it for the robot.

Undoubtedly, with presentation skills training advice like this, you'll be asked to give your next presentation in no time. And by that we mean at no time will you ever be asked to give another presentation.

Looking for some of the BEST presentation skills training advice, ever? Look no further:

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